Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She is in my trunk
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i came on her dog
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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