google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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