doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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