i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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