I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
