She's JV to your varsity
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
