it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
