You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
