and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
