I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
