There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
