i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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