I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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