No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
