yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
