You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
