you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize