Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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