She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
