your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
