He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
