You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
