True but thats because hes a fetus.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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