just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize