so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
