You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize