yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
