It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I could fuck to npr.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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