Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
