youre lurking in front of me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
