look no pants
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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