You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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