VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
