We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
