I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
