what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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