i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
