I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize