it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
