Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
