Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
