found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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