Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
