it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
