I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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