Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
