remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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