i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
