I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
