In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
