I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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