"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I think I just sharted jello shots
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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