who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
