Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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