But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
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