He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How's work?
Spinning.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
