Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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