Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All the doctor said was why
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize