I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
