I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
