Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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