he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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