You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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