Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
