I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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