direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
