"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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