did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
