after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
